Masticatetobbaco's+Diary

 An account of a hibernating Woozie Translated from Woozie-speak by Ira Friedberg

Throughout A Nude Hope *snore* *snore*. You're going to be seeing that a lot if you read this diary. You see, I'm a Woozie. I hibernate 6 out of the 7 months of the Woozie year. When I'm not hibernating, I'm a co-pilot of my best friend - Hand Someman. Hand has been reasonably nice to me, considering he has to carry me everywhere for most of the year. And, I'm heavy. And hairy. So hairy, in fact, that you wouldn't believe it. All Woozies are. It's just the way I am. *snore snore snore* In my deep hibernation state, I can still hear some sounds, and I can sometimes feel what I'm touching at the time. Of course, this doesn't wake me up. So right now I feel my hairy head against a cold, smooth surface. I'm thinking it's a table in a cantina on Tatuonweiner, because I can feel the grains of sand upon my furry hide. I can also hear the sounds of Bith musicians in the background. I hear the gulping of Hand as he drinks his Membrosia, an alcholic beverage served only in cantinas and other alcohol dens alike. After about thirty minutes in the cantina, I hear approaching footsteps. Sandals clash on the stone floor of the cantina. A voice echoes above but I can't understand it. Although, I can tell it is an old voice, probably that of Old Bony K'nobbli, the old Wizard of Tatuonweiner. Soon, I hear laser fire and people falling over. The voices of Sterntroopers echoed in the distance. The falling over part was probably Old Bony K'nobbli. I've heard that his wizardly powers enable him to do accidents and such that actually make him //win// battles! Soon enough, I was being hoisted up by Hand Someman and carried away somewhere, probably to the Millennium Bug, our ship. When we got there, there was lots of laser fire, more falling over, I think I heard the sound of some one's lung bursting open (Don't ask how I can tell) and lots of other disturbing things. Finally, I felt my feet(paws) knock against the floor as we entered the Millennium Bug. For a while I heard the controls being fiddled with, as if this was the pilot's first time piloting. Obviously it wasn't Hand. Which meant Hand had been the one shot in the lung, that's why he wasn't flying! Soon enough, though, we hit hyperspace. NOT. I felt the whole ship jolt, and all my senses shut down. Now I truly WAS completely asleep. SOME TIME LATER I was sleeping (duh, what else would I be doing?). My senses had cleared and I realized i was probably in an Imp-Emp-Imp security cell. Although there was chatter around me so I knew I was with Hand and the others. I knew I was going to be safe know. I closed my mind (Metaphorically speaking, of course) and continued my usual hibernation.